Many a day has passed since last I walked this path and... Blech, enough of the proper King's English, me thinks me needs to speakie dah common speeeech.
At least, that seems be what's needed if I am ever to understand the resumes and applications I receive on a daily basis. Being a manager of a retail operation requires me to staff my store (amazing, I know) and therefore I am required to peruse the various applications set before me. This day to day experience is what led me to write a How-To guide on job application over at Hubpages (http://hubpages.com/hub/The-Art-of-Job-Application).
But a recent applicant really took the cake with this inexplicable entry on her resume:
"I do not discriminate against skin colour, mental ability, sexual preferences or gender, race or religious views".
They then went out of their way to re-iterate this verbally with one of my staff. Now this is all fine and well, but why put it on your resume? Doesn't "works well with others" do the job? Makes me wonder if this young person had been accused of the opposite in the past and is now trying to over-compensate. Hmmmm...
Oh, I do believe the following is the Mother of All Red Flags:
When asked to list past employers, time at employer, pay rate, job duties and reason for leaving, this person filled it all in. Including "Dismissed" after a month of employment. But that's not the red flag. Noooo... The big scarlet banner would be the heavy-handed, press-pen-almost-through-paper "DO NOT CONTACT!" written over the supervisor's name.
You know that moment in Les Miserables, at the end of "One Day More" where Gavroche is up on the student's shoulder and is waving the big...red...flag? That would be what I saw when I read this application.
Then I had the urge to do a box-step and pump my fist in the air.
Seriously, how is this a good idea? What could they possibly be saying other than "If you call these folks they will tell you I am the Devil Incarnate"? *shakes head* Meh, I don't understand. Still, I suppose it's better than the young lady who asked me "Do I have to fill it all out?", right after I had asked her to fill out the application in full. She then wrote "See Resume" in most of the areas on the form. *sigh* "Houston, we have a failure to take direction."
In other news: I attempted full combat fighting at the local SCA (Society for Creative Anachronisms) yesterday and I managed not faint. It was a near thing and I did puke up my breakfast but I still had fun. My favorite moment came when the Field Marshall demonstrated what a legal headshot was - on my noggin.
"I can hear the bells, well, don'tcha hear 'em chime..."
My darling wife, bless her soul, was too busy giggling to keep the camera steady so I'm not sure we got a clear shot of my eyes going all crossy. Darn it all. I shall give it another go, though I would prefer to do the fencing wherein I don't need to wear 50lbs of armor and a helm that makes my head feel like it's in a cheesepress.
Ohhh, and my latest obsession: Cake Wrecks!! The carnage is only half the fun, the rest is the awesome commentary written by the three bloggers Jen, John and Number 1 (who is also named Jen, I think). Horrible cakes, musical references and geekdom moments. All is good and joyous. Just don't eat and/or drink whilst perusing.
http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/
Go there! Read it! Feel Superior!
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